Friday, June 22, 2012

Trav:
Changes

Well I might actually try to go back to this.  Full time job for Walgreens is still going, and I feel I'm finally getting a handle on it(thanks to having managers who try to help, and take me seriously). No one is really there for that long, so what I have been able to pick up so far is kinda haphazard.  Been going out with the Girl Friend for almost five months now and I think it's going well. I mean learning to talk about stuff instead of just filing it away. I mean having to put words to a whole diagram that exits in my head still makes little sense on the whole but I have been told I appear more confident and happy.  Been told I need to have a life though, but hey we all knew that right? Right? Yeah still gaming and reading. Got into some kick ass grand strategy games.  Running a country from 1399? Yeah woot!

On a serious note, budgeting sucks and I need to stick with the cash system, else I spend money instead of saving it.  but I'm trying to save money and maybe get another job eventually so I can move out the parents basement (nice place but chilly).

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

FATHERHOOD DAWNS: Day 76

Talk about being extremely lazy, I have become that definition for a writer.

As far as I can tell, her moods are starting to swing, not wildly, but more of a pendulum on a really, really, long pole.  I find the irony about her swings rather absurdly funny.

She wanted a child for a long time, and a life plan and everything.  My presence de-railed that plan, or at least, diverted on the scenic route.  So now that she has whats she wants, she complains, as every pregnant woman does, rightfully so, about how her body is changing, her breasts getting bigger (yay!), her back hurting, the random fruit sized fetus moving and pressing on her bladder and various other organs.

I take it all in stride, smile, sigh happily while giving her a kiss and letting her know with a devilish smile that she's only got xxx days/weeks/months left until she will, by the grace of God (which I somehow started to somewhat believe in during this whole crucible), pop out of her vagina a healthy human baby covered in blood and something approximanting 75W-140 differential oil.

I then proceed to the garage and continue the tear-down on my new, and extremely used, 1989 Nissan 240SX.  More on this timid beast later.

I honestly thought I would have more to say to about my feelings and emotions and the whole metamorphisis of this car geek-cum-mechanic to father, but short of my own stresses, there hasn't been much a change yet.  I drink less, wrench more.  That's about it.

Tuesday, March 06, 2012

FATHERHOOD DAWNS: Day 22

We're "conflicting" more than usual.  I know her hormones are running kind of stupid, and I'm stressing out from all the stressors that are happening.  But that understanding dosen't really help when we both push the "Fire" button and lob salvos of Mark 8 shells at each other.  So I listen to reggae.  A lot.  And try not to think about sex. 

Fuck, sex sounds fantastic right now.

Our animals have noticed a change in her as well.  They've been sleeping less on our faces and more on her stomach.  I like to think that the know whats up.

My tattleing on our fighting isn't to say that we don't have really good days together.  We went to re-sale shop and had a glorious time looking at all the shoes they had aquired.  Settled on a couple of CD's instead.  Spent a day wrapped in each others arms under the blankets on a Lazy Sunday Morning.

Unfortunatly, like all of history, it's the bad shit that we usually remember most vividly, not the really good times.

I'm crazy in love with her, but I must be crazy for doing so.