Thursday, June 29, 2006

Johnny Rumble:
Strife and War on the Horizon...

Well...hmm...My Ex-girlfriend is here for a month, and has been here for the past 4 days or so. In these past four days my moods have been shifting rather rapidly and quite frequently. Since we had broken-up, i have been able to direct pretty much most of my hatred and anger at her memory. But since she has shown up, I have been feeling both pissed off and yet very friendly toward her.

Keeping our history (very clingy, i got nearly zero alone time) in mind, I feel that i have betrayed my self and yet i feel better for being friendly and nice. Don't get me wrong, she still irritates the fuck outta my most of the time. And yet i still find her attractive and very desirable. This whole situation is driving me up the wall, but I can't stop it.

I think the reason I threw up the wall of hatred toward her direction is to help prevent a situation like this. I fought my mother about her coming her, and gave her plently of (weak) reasons why she shouldn't come, but I didn't have the gonads to tell her the real reason, even though I think that both of them know it.

Fortunatly I'm going to be out of the house all day tomorrow, so I'll have plenty of alone time to contemplate this issue and hopefully make the right move to set things straight again.

And i'm out.

John

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