Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Johnny Rumble:
ABC Peom about Guinness

Arthur Guinness can be called many things. A
Back-stabbing Irish Unionist, a sex addict (and with 21
Children many won’t say otherwise), but what he’s best known for is
that cold pint of
Draught. Surely, there can be nothing better than watching
Every downward flowing bubble, enjoying that extra-
Frothy, extra creamy head, poured to the perfection so richly deserved.

Guinness Stout, how many of us do long to find a glass or ten in your
Hedonistic pints of bliss. Combined with
Irish Whisky and some Bailey’s crème, a car bomb is sure to
Jolt the stupidity into any meager soul not already
Killing the night away at the local house. American
Lagers with their rice and corn and cheaply
Manufactured shit that should have
Never seen a bottle, much less the
Open pit some alcoholics call a mouth. Making beer is simple
Process of five steps and sufficient
Quantities of yeast, Barley, Hops and Malt. What separates Guinness is
the dead

Rats found floating at the bottom of the original vats.
Shuttering away my friend’s cabinets full of nasty Milwaukie
Tempered and sanitized horse piss, I revere my private stash of the
Undisputed king of Stouts and reach for the
Very special bottle opener, plated in chrome, and victim of many
Wiget erection jokes. It’s only because of this dear bottle that my
kidneys are the

Xenolith of my body. The local apartment tenets and even
You know the truth,
Zane Grey rolls in his grave every time I shout “Kiss My Irish Ass!”

Johnny Rumble


  1. Very nice. You obviously pulled that out of that brain somehow.

  2. yo erm are the line spacing set properly it just seems off? unless its supposed to be like that.

    US vs Mexico tonight, wooh! and its on the telly