Monday, June 30, 2008

Johnny Rumble:
If I were Secretary of Air Force

...on the certification of nuclear capable units.

I jabbed the intercom button on my desk, "Mary, can you get the Wing Commanders of both 5th and 2nd Bomb wings, and also patch in the 8th Commander?"

"Certainly Mr. Secretary. Do what priority do I give the call if they are currently unavailable?"

"You find them. Even if they are at home, sleeping, drinking, watching TV, fucking thier mistresses, I don't care. I want them on the horn."

"Yes Mr. Secretary, right away sir. By the way, your girlfriend called and said that she found a new outfit at Randy's."

I smiled broadly. Randy's the Lingere store. Randy's the Adult store. "Thank you Mary." I probably had enough time to grab a soda from the mini-fridge next to me. Mary was quick, extremely quick, but most of her time woud be spent wai-

"Mr. Secretary, I have both the 2nd and 5th Commanders on the phone, and the 8th Commander is currently on the flightline and quite unreachable at the moment. He sends his apoligizes and will return your phone call at the first possible moment."

I raised my eyebrow at the intercom. "Is there some sort of super-secretary academy that I don't know about Mary? That was quick."

"Thank you sir."

I picked up the phone, "Brigader Generals Cannon and Bruce, I want you to be quiet and listen real, real close. You two command this nations premire Nuclear units. Premire. But, due to a noteable former commander in the 5th, among other problems, the United States Air Force has become an embarresment unto itself. I am to correct this, and if heads need be shoved on pikes and paraded around the briefing rooms, they will be. I expect nothing less than "outstanding" ratings on your next ROI's. If you fail anything, your fired. If you anything having to do Nuclear weapons, you can concider your resignation accepted. If you fail bad enough, you will be dishonorably discharged and fed that Chicken Dinner. Am I understood?"

There was a slight pause on the line before I got two distincive yes sir's.

"Good. My records show that the next scheduled ROI's you two have are in about 6 months. That is scheduled. There is nothing on there pages about unscheduled. I expect those tow bars to be polished at all times." I took a breath. "Now, are either of you going to be eating chicken?"

I got no sir's.

"Good. Go run your Wings. And remember Generals, Above All." I hung up the phone and took a deep breath. Soda time...

...on the tanker contracts.

"General Sheer! What a nice suprise! Didn't expect to see you down in my office after our pissing contest in front of the Sec Def last month. Can I offer you a drink? Beer, scotch, various sodas, I think there might be a Gatorade stuffed in the back of fridge somewhere." I was happy to see the General again, for he was a good guy, and a damn good poker player, but to see him in MY office was never a good thing. I usually visited him.

"Thank you sir, but I took the liberty of plucking one from you stock already. Hope you don't mind."

Plucking. That was code word for "I wish to talk plainly and off the record." I shut the door to my office. "What'd you pick out Pat?" He raised his bottle. "Green Apple Jones? Sounds good." I opened my own soda, kicked off my shoes and sat cross legged on the desk in front of him. "Whats up?"

"Boeing filed a complaint. And the bets are that the GAO is going to hold it up." I swore under my breath. "We need these planes Johnny. There are tankers in service that are pushing 50. The Air Force can't do this dance any more! We're out of money, out of time, and out of favors. Were gonna have to re-bid the whole damn thing!"

Pat was winding himself up, which was never a good thing for him. "Your preaching to the choir Pat. We all figured that the loser would complain and throw a shit-fit. We just hoped that of either of them, Boeing would be the one that would be classy about losing. Apparently not."

"Yeah, well 40 fucking billion dollars will make anybody stand up and scream bloody murder when they don't get it. New Tankers are quickly becoming the Bone projects of the 80's."

I took a pull from my soda and sat in silence. I looked at Pat, and he looked at me. We just stared at each other for a few moments, mentally bouncing ideas off each other.

I broke the silence first. "Look, I don't think we're gonna be able to do much other than cuss at idiots over at Boeing and the GAO. And I honestly don't think that's going to win us over too many people at the Hill. Even if they corrupt ding-dongs in fancy hats..."

"Ding-dongs?" Pat laughed. "Oh shit man...that was funny. Anyway, I gotta go. Just wanted to let you know what was happening."

"Hey, thanks for the heads up. By the way, we still on for poker tonight? And is your wife cooking?"

"Yes and yes."

"Woohoo and WOOHOO!"

Pat chuckled, "She not that good of a cook."

"Tell that to somebody who's kitchen is the size of a waffle maker. I hate my apartment. And apparently so do the SF's."

"Get a bigger place. You'll never be able to attract a girlfriend with that tiny place."

With that General Sheer exited my office. I finished my soda for a few minutes before I started ruffling papers looking for the number of the Boeing lobbyist. I was gonna raise hell, damn what people thought of me.

Friday, June 27, 2008

Johnny Rumble:
New rumblings!

So I'm now finally working on a new story. It'll be in the same vein of thought as Cowboy Bebop and Samurai Champloo, I hope, with current topics and linguistics usage, just set back in the day. 1960's to be exact. In Iceland. With guns. And hot Soviet female assassins wearing tight leather body suits. Mmmm....

But yeah, this idea had been floating in and around in my brain for a while, just could never figure out to put it down on paper...or pixel as the case may be.

Oh, I found a great English Ale a few weeks ago, not big on flavor, at least, not after a Guinness, but sooooo damn creamy. Brewed in Manchester, so not everything in Manchester is bollocks, but it definatly was worth the money I doled out for it. Boddingtons Bitter Ale. Find it, Try it.

Johnny Rumble

Monday, June 09, 2008

Weekend update and stuff

Fairfax fair was this weekend and while I wanted to go to see joan jett play, it was just too hot. You know that the summer is upon when your sweating as you walk the 20 feet to the car. I went Friday night to see a local ska band which was really fun. Energetic performance and I got to see my friend Mike again, who I've been out of touch with since I've been back from school. I really dislike the mosh pits at these places since the respect for your fellow concert goer's just doesn't seem to be there. I mean do you really have to throw hte plastic bottle when it is still full of water, for crying out loud it was so hot that the water shouldn't have been wasted. I just don't like small pits I guess. No one was helping anyone up and I think I fell over at least twice where I had to haul myself up with no help, talk about brotherhood, just another dream.

Saturday was spend off from work and doing laundry. I would have liked to work but figured why not spend some time with dad and the xbox- especially since I'm working next Sunday, at least during the day. So I hope to make up some of the money I lost this Saturday next weekend.

On another note, I tested preupgrade for FC8 and while I did get a bootable FC9 system, It had borked the networking and hte package manager, so Now as I write this, I am burning the dvd and shall just install FC9 that way.

The Euro's are in full swing and while France vs Romania was the football equivalent to watching paint dry, the second game Holland vs Italy was anything but mundane and a very entertaining spectacle at that.

Looking forward to the start of the next Premierleague season, with Hull in the top division for the firt time ever, should be a long season.