Monday, August 11, 2008

Johnny Rumble:
Greasy Fingernails

I love automobiles.  By love I mean that there are some cars out there I'm libal to stick my dick in the tail pipe while giving head to a turbocharger love.  The love I have for automobiles is that kind of primal savage love that nothing can get in the way of.  Not even girlfriends that think they arn't getting enough attention due to my savage love.

I love imports, domestics, hot rods, kustoms, rusty, new, old, concours winners and junkyard heaps.  I look at every single car of the road and my mind turns immediately to what I could do it to make it better, stronger, faster, more agile.

I pick up car magazines like Import Tuner, Makes and Models, Hot Rod, Ol' Skool Rods, Street Trucks and study them like they are some kind of bible for freaks in the church.  I saw an old couple in a 1950's era Chevorlet sedan and I gave him a thumbs up.  Two blocks later, I saw a girl in a Citroen 2CV.  Naturally, I rolled down my window.

"Hey!  Wanna drag race?"

I smiled, she laughed, and I told her she had a beautiful 2CV.  I turned right because I didn't have the heart to roll away from her by just barely tipping on the go pedal.  She was cute and the car was cuter.

I respect guys in ratted and rusty T's and A's while thinking of ways to piss off the those same faithful with thier own Rat-Style.  This fantasy has occured to me over the past few weeks.  That fantasy is to build a daily Rat-Rod that would piss off the Import guys, the Domestic guys, the Rat and Hot Rod guys while leaving all thier jaws on the floor. 

Imagine if you will, building a custom frame that would have a pushrod suspension, both indepedent front and rear, capable of taking the stresses occasional track days and still be supple and smooth for street duty, using either Technical Innovation coil-overs or comparable, dropping either a Toyota 2JZ-GTE or Nissan RB26-DETT between the frame rails tuned for about 400 horsepower, and then wrapping the entire thing in a Rat style Model A body, rusty,  converted to right hand drive with a laid back 1934 Ford Model B front grille.

This fantasy Rat of mine would piss off the Hot Rod and Rat Rod guys for using so many "non-Domestic" parts (read: Japanese Import), not using the traditional Chevorlet 350 motor or Ford Flat-Head, and worse of all, showing up to Rat and Hot Rod cruises.  The Import tuners would hate it for the Rat-Rod looks.

This is me.  I strive to think and imagine and eventually build custom and tuned cars that bust molds and stereo-types.  Most of all, I strive to have the cars for fun and adventure and to be different from the rest of the car culture.


  1. oi, i'd custom-make jewelries for yer special girl, too (nevermind if she's jealous about your car). just send me private message... some days are gonna be brighter for dreamers that stain their hands (with grease or something like that!)

  2. I had a girlfriend that once banned me from reading automotive literature when she was around. Well, tried to ban me.

    Alas, I'm single now, and that's okay.

    I'd like to send you a message, but your profile is private, no can do.