Saturday, September 06, 2008

Johnny Rumble:
Dialogue to Narration

Last year I was given a creative assignment to write a piece of dialogue to share with the class and then turn it into a narrative story. Mind, this is not a new work, it's almost 9 months old, and therefore completely deviod of anything I've picked up style wise since then.

The Dialogue:

X: Damn it Y! I’ve had it with these motherfucking snakes in this mother fucking…ow!

Y: You deserved it. That line is way over used, and at this point, quite passé. Besides, I’ve had it with these motherfucking quotes from these motherfucking movies.

X: Oh, so you get to say it, but not me.

Y: You catch on quick.

X: Ass.

Y: Hee-Haw.

X: Turn here, no here. Right there! Yes! There! I’m gonna slap you…OLD WOMAN!!!

Y: Quit griping. She was a million miles away. I’m not like you, having to hit every damn mailbox, car, sister, Nun what have you.

X: I’ve only been in eight accidents thank you. And that woman…I think you bowled her over man…no look, she’s still down. Hey, how fast are going?

Y: Sixty-five.

X: In a twenty five?

Y: Is that a problem? Would you like out? Here, I’ll unlock the doors for you. Jump out now, and you might land in those bush, nope missed those.

X: So anyway, You know that chicka from the party…um…I think Z was her name.

Y: Yeah Z, I know Z. Why?

X: Dude, she hot. Like crazy hot. And damn kinky.

Y: What do you mean? Those thigh-high Dom boots and plaid miniskirts?

X: Na man, she’s HOT.

(beat)

X: Y, red light…Y red light…Y! REDLIGHT!!!

(beat)

X: Jesus man. Hey, everything alright?

Y: Yeah, fine. You said she was hot? Like in the sack?

X: Ohhhh myyy goooood yes. She pulled this little trick with some hand cuffs…

(beat)

X: Aw shit man. I knew I recognized those cuffs. Those were yours weren’t they. She was yours wasn’t she? That would explain why you weren’t around a lot the past few months. I’m sorry man. If I had known…

Y: Na. It’s fine. Me and Z are old bad news anyway. It was pretty much over by the party. I’m fine with it. It’s done, it’s over, and I can’t hold that night against you. Those boots are damn sexy anyway.

X: Yeah they are man…that’s what got me in….OW!

Y: Okay, now I’m over it. Where’s this pool hall? I feel like drinking some crappy beer and breaking a few sticks.


The Narration:

“Damn it Y! I’ve had it with these motherfucking snakes in this mother fucking…ow!”

“You deserved it,” I sneered at him, “That line is way over used, and at this point, quite passé. Besides, I’ve had it with these motherfucking quotes from these motherfucking movies.”

X turned toward me and sneered right back, “Oh, so you get to say it, but not me.”

“You catch on quick.”

He flipped me the bird, “Ass.” I bleated like a donkey.

It was a typical Saturday afternoon. Fortunately, both of our schedules finally lined up enough for a day of stupidity and nonsense. Naturally, as per tradition, we were impaired with alcohol, and driving. X stuck out his sausage like finger and pointed to a cross street.

“Turn here,” he said. I pointed at a different street. “No here.” I still pointed at the wrong street. X was amused, frustrated, but amused, “Right there! Yes! There!” I gave him a quizzical look. “I’m gonna slap you…OLD WOMAN!!!”

I barely managed to avoid her and her walker laden arms as we skidded around the corner. Nonetheless, I played it off, “Quit griping. She was a million miles away. I’m not like you, having to hit every damn mailbox, car, sister, Nun what have you.”

X took mock offence, “I’ve only been in eight accidents thank you. And that woman,” he turned in his seat, “I think you bowled her over man…no look, she’s still down. Hey, how fast are going?”
I peered between the spokes of the steering wheel and fixed my eyes on the orange needle, “Sixty-five.” X didn’t even blink.

“In a twenty five?”

“Is that a problem? Would you like out? Here, I’ll unlock the doors for you,” I reached over him and thumbed the door lock, “Jump out now, and you might land in those bushes…nope missed those.” X just laughed.

“So anyway,” he continued, “You know that chicka from the party…um…I think Z was her name.”

I flashed back to last night and thought about everything. “Yeah Z, I know Z. Why?”

X held his hands in front of himself like he had pair of tits to clutch, “Dude, she hot. Like crazy hot. And damn kinky.”

I gritted my teeth silently, “What do you mean? Those thigh-high Dom boots and plaid miniskirts?”

“Na man, she’s HOT.”

I zoned out. I thought about everything and nothing at all. I didn’t even hear X talk at me, “Y, red light…Y red light…Y! REDLIGHT!!!” We blew right through it. Cross traffic, pedestrians, everything and everybody. I was unfazed.

After X opened his eyes and got his heart rate back to normal he cautiously asked, “Jesus man. Hey, everything alright?”

I gritted my teeth further and cocked an eyebrow, playing it off, “Yeah, fine. You

said she was hot? Like in the sack?”

He let out this long, extremely contented sigh, “Oh my god yes. She pulled this little trick with some hand cuffs…”

He paused several heartbeats, and his face distorted like he had just eaten an over ripen lime.

“Aw shit man. I knew I recognized those cuffs. I’m sorry man. If I had known…”

I interrupted him, “Na. It’s fine. Me and Z are old bad news anyway. It was pretty much over by the party. I’m fine with it. It’s done, it’s over, and I can’t hold that night against you. Those boots are damn sexy anyway.”

X considered my words for a few moments before saying, “Yeah they are man…that’s what got me in….OW!” I punched his arm.

“Okay, now I’m over it. Where’s this pool hall? I feel like drinking some crappy beer and breaking a few sticks.”


Old, but still worthy to be on this site I think.

Slainte

Johnny Rumble

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