Saturday, September 27, 2008

Johnny Rumble:
To Hampton, Virginia

It's been a long time since we last had a fight, and I for one, am rather glad of that.  Right now, I'm under too much stress trying to finish my associates degree to deal with the extra stress of anymore conflict.

But that isn't the point here.

Since that last time, I have done an incredible amount of maturing and growing, I've seen a multitude of counselors for various subject and reasons, I've made many new friends, and written a lot of new works.  I finally took that trip to Oklahoma City that I had always talked about.  It was refreshing to see Kyle again.  He teased me about you a bit, in fact.  Sadly, I don't remember enough of the weekend to satiate my appetite, mostly to do the excessive amount of alcohol I consumed while I was there.  I, in fact, came back on the plane completely trashed and had to explain to my creative writing teacher why I had the trash can next to my desk.

Next semester will be my last at Yuba College, for I will have a a General Education degree in Arts and Humanities.  Not the greatest I could have gotten, but enough to get me to a four year institution.  I'm pretty stoked about it.  I'm still working for my old boss, but I'm looking for another job to help pay for tuition next year.  I also quit drinking 100% completely.  I found that I was turning more and more to the bottle, and that's not where I wanted to be.  So I'm sober now, and while craving a beer, and upset that I cannot have one, I think i'm happier for it.

So, you know, I've done my thing, and you, you've done yours.

But since that day way, way back, I've come to realize a few things.  I still have feelings for you, but only in the vein of hoping for the best in your life.  It's odd to hear me say that I know, but it's true.  I've also realized that we weren't that compatable.  You were quiet and reserved, me boisterous and loud, with two completely different philosophies on life, love, and the general world around us.

I'm not angry or upset or hurt about what happened.  I've accepted it and moved on.  While I haven't yet found another serious relationship, I'm okay with it.  I'm getting by emotionally with I have.  I can only hope that with this, any ill will that I may have bared toward you can be at least forgiven, and at most, forgotten.  And while I may a hold a slight bit of animosity toward you and and toward everything that we, at one point, had, I would have you understand that it is just the way I deal with the turmoil that any lost friendship and relationship brings to bear on my soul.

I can only hope that your life gets better, and that you find all the happiness you can stand.

Much regard,

Johnny Rumble

1 comment:

  1. Thank you. I don't know what may have spurred this on but I am a little thankful. I'm glad that you quit drinking.

    You were right though. We really weren't all that compatible. I'm sorry that I hurt you so much. I'm sorry that I couldn't be better for you. But I am glad that you are getting your degree! I know that one day you will get a girl that is so not like me that she'll kick your ass and scare the hell out of you. I wish things could have worked out better. And that some how we could be friends. Maybe not close friends, but to the point where we can be civil and still talk. I am so proud of you getting through Yuba.

    I forgive you for everything, I did a long time ago.