Saturday, April 18, 2009

Johnny Rumble:
Old Things

I stumbled, quite accidently, onto an old set photos that dated from July of 2007.  I clicked through them, slowly, looking at every detail, every nuance, and remembering every memory.  Your wierd facial expressions and fucked up hat, your father's mustache, and my fat gut at Wisp.  That dress.  I'm not going to make little white lies and say I knew they were there, because I truely did forget that I still had the photos.

I'm also not going to lie and say that I don't miss you somedays.  Because I do.

I'm also not going to lie about one other thing.  I tend to compartmentalize the people I run into and only tell certain people certain things, keeping them guessing about me and never giving them the whole picture, the whole me.

You were the first to shatter that mold, to see hear and comprehend enough to get me.  And I've been very cautious since about who knows what.  Further compartmentalization.  A puzzle of 500 pieces with 434 of them missing.

I think I do this out a rash instinct to survive my life schedule of finding a new home every so often.  It's easier to seperate when nobody really knows you.  Just another person they knew back then.  A memory.

I lie to myself and say that it's for the best.

Storms a-coming, my knee is acting up,

Johnny Rumble

2 comments:

  1. Best piece of writing I've seen today:

    "I tend to compartmentalize the people I run into and only tell certain people certain things, keeping them guessing about me and never giving them the whole picture."

    (Cut "the whole me").

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  2. there's sadder thought on this but it's for your own good --- do they care to guess like you do?

    at least you did not lose yourself with those tidbits you parted

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