Friday, February 19, 2010

Johnny Rumble:

It's a delight having to switch mindsets in the automotive world.  By delight, I mean an annoyance.  Ever since I've been into cars, I've always thought about how to make them go faster.  From the age of six, when I would pretend to strap rocket motors to my Hot Wheels, to age 22, when I know a Spoon crankcase girdle would allow me to spin a B18C5 all the way up to 10,000 rpm with little extra modification.

How far gearheads come.

But right now I'm switching mindsets again, for nearly the hundrenth time (note: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6).  I used to be all about trucks, with big fucking wagon wheels on them, frames on the ground.  Then it was small little four cylinder compacts flitting about the racetrack and the street.  Then rat-rods.  Back to four-cylinders, but with four-doors for Touring car racing.  Now I'm thinking about rally wagons.  From '03 GMC Serrias, to '96 Saturn SL2's, to '32 Ford B's, to '95 Honda Civics, and now 1998 Subaru Foresters.

When I was doing my research on Saturns for hop-ups, I didn't find a whole lot.  I had to dig deep.  Real deep.  Ideas, parts, anything, did not come easily or readily.  But what I found was staggering.  Unfortunatly, in my search for Saturn porn, the rest of the industry started to drop off my radar.  I got target fixated.  Now, with my focus shifting due to the desire for a new-to-me car, I'm looking at buying the afore mentioned Forester.

Plying my wants on Autotrader, hitting the Forester forums, looking at what other people have built in the many years the SF5 platform has been on the market (especially the Angry Toaster build), and trying to figure out what will fit where, and how the Impreza STI parts fit into the Forester.  But all those parts and modifications are getting out of the way of what I really will need to do to this, my other lover.

I need will need her to take me through the snow.  Quickly and cheaply.  It's looking more and more like I will end up snow bound and drifted in Marquette, Michigan come August.  And the snow up there gets deep.  This is a problem.  The last time I drove in snow with any sort of regularity was when I was making frequent winter trips to the Thumb area.  That was four years ago.  I was tame then.  Now I'm a hooligan.  Tail-out and slide happy.

This SF5 is going to quickly re-sprayed a Krylon blue and have various small bits and pieces painted bright flouresent orange for easy sight.  The bumpers and front fenders will be attached with zipties, so that when I do hit the inevitable snowbank, they don't get too damaged.  This toaster will not be a looker.  But it will be a driver.  With snow tires and gravel suspension, I'll have an easier time getting around the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.  Piece de resistance?  The plaid panda bear buckled in the rear center.  I'm looking foward to this.

Hitting trees,

Johnny Rumble


  1. Love that piece de resistance. You still have that thing?

  2. I do. Currently velcroed by it's butt to the rear shelf in the Saturn. Tags and all. Need to re-glue some of them, as they have started to peel apart, and the sun is fading the paper quite badly, but the panda itself is holding up quite well.


  3. I'm surprised that the tags haven't completely faded out.