Monday, January 17, 2011

Johnny Rumble:
Okie from Muskogee

To be entirely honest, I wasn't sure how to spell Muskogee.  I thought it had two 'G's in it.

Being back in here, in what the Tourism Board calls 'Native America,' kinda makes one lose appeal for the low street car and gain a further appreation for the lifted and tall.  Not that I've completely lost my fucking mind.  Just only banged it under the hoods of too many Subarus.

Subaru Fever I call it.

Maybe it's the All Wheel Drive, the boxer growl, the whooshing turbos and the way the whole damn car flops to one side when it's cranked over.  I keep thinking about these things, and the K-5 Blazer my neighbor has across the street and how it's constantly filthy with mud.  I think about the zip ties I have in my garage, and how simple it would be to use them to 'bolt-on' the bumpers, so dirt and ice hills won't kill them.  I think about light-racks and roof top carriers.  I think about top-mount intercoolers, turbo-induced torque, and then I think about having kids and I stop dead cold.

Lexus's fill my mind, luxuroius and able to take the family to a fancy dinner at a fancy resturant with a valet, I think about a LS or GS or IS, finely polished wood dash trays and air-suspension.  Supple leather seats and rich sounds out of the speakers, the automatic tilt/telescope rack, big chrome wheels and a Hellaflush sticker on the back window...

I bang my head again on another Subaru hood.  I look at Bay #4 and see a fresh Lexus.  I look at Bay #2 and see a dirty Subaru.  I squint slightly, hold my head at the right angle and lift my left foot one inch off the ground and see it perfectly, The Combination.

Love,

Johnny Rumble

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