Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Johnny Rumble:
The State of Motoring

I would like to declare right now, on the internet, that the state of the Motorist is dying.  There aren't many of us around any more.  The ones that will enjoy a car in the raw, without the air conditioning, the non-leaking roof, traction control, anti-lock brakes, TPMS sensors, and all the things that the government has mandated to be on new cars and trucks that take the fun out of the powerslide or hitting a tree and charoming off the dashboard.  Instead, when we stab at the brakes of a new Nissan, we are left picking teeth out of the steering wheel because modulation is just impossible now.

People used to talk about how the oil smelled after it got hot, and how they fixed the screeching fan belt, or re-tapped the frame to hold the suspention in place because the bolt rusted and broke.  They used to be able to fix thier own damn cars.  Now we have mechanics to do that, 24-7 wrecker services to rescue us.

On that note, everybody needs to own a car that will kill them.  I don't mean owning it and getting rid of it, but keeping a deathtrap in their name all the time.  Cars that if they cook the brakes on a winding downhill mountain road will kill them, flywheels, that if over-revved will explode and cut through flesh.  Engines about ready to catch fire, wiring that exposed and bare, and rusty sharp metal that will give them tetanus.  Rat Rods are one way to go, and the way I probably will to, and then there's the sexier, classier way of Alfa Romeos.

My car may be broken, but I'll be laughing more than you,

Johnny Rumble

1 comment:

  1. I remember the day when I could sit on the fender and changes the spark plugs. Now you can't even see the spark plugs!